He reads me like a book. A cheap paperback, one you can read from prologue to last page in an afternoon. He's slick about it, too. He makes me think he's not paying attention, acts like he's worried about other things, then he'll be all BAM you're feeling this or thinking that, and approximately 99% of the time he's right.
I don't read him anywhere near as well as he reads me. I think he's got all this stuff happening in his head and I'll ask him about it. Like say I'll assume he's worrying about the ex or work and I'll try to draw him out on it, and he'll tell me all that's squirreling in his head and it's something entirely different. Something like how much the parts for the Vista are going to cost or what bills should be paid this week. I miss about as often as he hits.
What's really funny (odd funny, not ha-ha funny) is that, per him, I get the opportunity to pay a lot more attention to him than he does to me. It's true - my stressors are all but non-existent anymore. He goes a long way towards making me really happy in a lot of little and many big ways, and I have less outside stress in my life than he does. I wish I had the ability to take away his stress like he takes away mine. I'd honestly say at this point the only two things I worry about are him - is he going to make it through whatever's currently bugging him? and the boy - is he going to remove his head from his derriere? So it follows that I should be able to read him better than he reads me, since I get so much more time to study him, right?
Nope.
I guess I've stumbled onto another of the ways that we're different. I'm not sure how to explain the difference - is he more empathetic? Am I allowing myself to be spoiled? I guess the reason behind it doesn't matter. And while I feel a little bad that he's so far ahead of me, I think it's really okay. We're doing a good thing and we love each other and it'll all work out in the end.
Okay now onto some stuff that has nothing to do with him.
I went to my second meeting last night. I blew a 7 this time (18 last time, and normal for a non-smoker is 0-3). The meeting was okay, not as good as the first one because there was one of those know-it-alls there who wanted to tell everyone everything, even talking over the facilitator. I'm going to keep going, though. I'm serious about this stuff, people!
When I left the meeting, I was texting as I walked to my car and was approached by a 40-something guy in clothes that didn't look dirty. He said, "Hello, nice weather." I replied "Yes, now that the wind;s died down." Then he said, "Nice car." And I said, "It needs to be washed but thank you." Then he said, "Hey I don't have anything and I'mm hungry, can you help?" I said, "I'm sorry but I don't carry cash."
We talked about it over coffee this morning and I really do think I'm going to start carrying information about welfare on me and hand it out to people who beg. I really don't carry cash and don't intend to start. But still, I'd like to help people. Teach them to fish and all that jazz.
The girl is coming down this weekend.. I'm not sure how long she's actually going to be at my house - I suspect she's going to want to hang out with her Salisbury friends. I'm hoping to get both the kids up to Mom and Dad's, and get some one on one time with the girl, and also fit in some time with the BBE's girls. And I'm really, really hoping we can figure out how to get the boy a working phone (even if it's a crappy phone).
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